No one likes to lose, so it is understandable why everyone tries to do almost anything to achieve victory. While this is not entirely wrong, you should also know that not everything you face is a battle (even if it seems like it is). When applied to complicated life matters like divorce, the idea of winning can backfire as it can sometimes mean hurting others or pushing everything to the limit.
If your main goal is to beat your spouse or make him/her suffer, you’ll end more stressed and exhausted. It is best to keep in mind there is rarely a real winner in the process. This because there are many issues to be settled (custody, property division, alimony) and you cannot be favored in all of them. You cannot always get what you and leave the other party with nothing.
You might lose something
Your divorce can feel like a battle, but it is not something that you should win entirely. You and your spouse can lose something in the process. One party, for instance, might get the primary custody of the kids but receive less alimony or support payments than requested. There is a need to compromise, and your attitude about the final settlement will matter on how you’ll feel after everything is over.
Sometimes, after the settlement is over, you might feel like you’ve lost or that your ex has a got a better deal. You can avoid this feeling by preparing and having the right attitude during and after the settlement. You should also have a game plan and know what you want to get out of your divorce. You can do this with the help of an experienced family/divorce attorney.
Revenge will not make everything better
Having a full-blown divorce battle or trying to win everything can have ugly consequences. Divorce lawyers in Salt Lake City note that this because you can end up spending more time, money, and effort to have the settlement your way. It is also possible for the kids to suffer a lot in a heated battle, especially if parents continue to argue and display hostility.
If you, for instance, have been cheated on or feel that your spouse is the reason for divorce, you may be tempted to get even. Doing so may make you feel happy temporarily, but it will not make everything better in the long-term. It can even encourage your spouse to devise plans of revenge too. This can then hurt both of you financially and emotionally.
Striving for an amicable process
If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, it is ideal to aim for a fast process if possible. Do take note that this does not mean being too nice or agreeing to everything your soon-to-be ex-spouse has requested. It is more about learning how to work civilly, along with compromising, negotiating, and talking respectfully with the other party.
Emotions can run high in the process, and they can affect your decisions. This is why it is essential to identify your goals and know when something is worth fighting for. In most cases, a replaceable item with no sentimental value is not worth it. You should also learn to accept what the other party gets and move on with what you have.
Don’t be so focused on winning your divorce. Save yourself the stress and trouble of having a full-blown battle by learning how to compromise and communicate. Contact divorce lawyer to help protect your rights and interests.